sonofabitch

"where the streets have no name..."

	5/29/02 I just finished my hearts weekend and have returned (mentally, for I was actually here) to a pile of work. I was working until I made my first trip to the airport, and then snuck in a few extra hours during the weekend. Some vacation. dads and grads. that's the big rush right now. dads and grads. only i think the grads may have slipped by. One of my hearts friends lost his father just a week before our long weekend. The news brought up such a rush of mixed emotions. Pain. Sorrow. Pain. I wanted to reach out, I wanted to console, I wanted to not thnk about my father dying, I wanted to share what little I have gained from my father's death. It takes time. And it takes time away. What can I do? I offer my support. I offer an ear, a shoulder, an 80-pound punching bag in the garage. Like having a baby, you never know what's it's really like until it happens to you. No one can really prepare you. You need support from friends and family. You give support to friends and family. And the pain just keeps coming. Sometimes it hides. You can keep busy. You can fool yourself. But it's there. Mixed with the good memories. And the physical reminders. The artifacts. Three friends from carleton have lost their fathers in the last five weeks. The hearts weekend was good. The usual fun. Dinosaurs. The Getty. Joshua Tree. Chan Dara, Versailles, Kiku Sushi, Cafe Chapeau, El Cholo. Even some hearts. More wiped out than usual, I guess. A lot of driving. Four trips to LAX in five days. And the drive to Joshua Tree. But t's good to take a break. since I no longer have what we call "weekends" anymore. Just one long work week. Speaking of which, I'm off to start the day. For this is morning. The sun is up (again). Somewhere a broom is drearily sweeping. Later. SONOFABITCH check this out...