There aren't enough drugs to make me feel better....................................... But what if there are?

You may be too sensitive for this...

	6/27/01 11:55 p.m. absolutely censored at 5:20 a.m. on 6/28 (sad, but true) still up, which is a bad sign. purpose and drive have shot right down the toilet. work is good. a life would be better. sometimes i think about moving to a small town somewhere, renting a room in a small hotel, starting up a new life. where i sit in the hotel room and wonder what the hell i am doing. and then maybe think about moving to a big town. but it would be interesting to just start over again. come to think of it, i've done that a few times. the birds are tweeting cawing outside my window. and with my new love for birds, after a highly educational hearts vacation, i'd like to go outside and tell them to shut the fuck up. i actually washed my car at 9:30 tonight (last night) because my local birds decorated it. nice avoidance. i have no rules. i have no agenda. i have no master plan. and honestly, i don't want one. i sound ripe for a cult. or occult. a guy flagged me down about 11 p.m. a couple of nights ago as I was taking a walk. he was desperate. "Can you tell me where there is a tarot card reader who is open at this hour?" Yeah, like you need your fortune told TONIGHT or your life is going to disappear. I suggested Hollywood Boulevard. I completely forgot about that fake jamaican woman with the psychic hotline. is there an all night... I'm not sure what I need. a social club. a church dance. a book-reading club. a camera club, a bridge group. a pistol range. I look through the LA Weekly and there only seem to be bondage clubs in this city. i'm going to an art auction, aids benefit, rave on saturday night. I'll have to practice my dance steps. and is ecstasy as good as it seemed in the anniversary party? let me blame a movie for my... whatever off to bed. I see daylight. off to bed. for a fun time go to yojimbo
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