There aren't enough drugs to make me feel better.


A cop stopped me tonight on the way home from a movie. Motorcycle cop. Sunglasses after midnight. I'd been driving south on Highland, just below Hollywood. He put on his lights and pulled me over. He asked me how we were doing. He looked across the seat at my friend Erik. I asked the officer what the problem was and he said I'd been weaving down the street. And all the while we're talking, he's flashing his little pencil flashlight on my crotch. He asks me if I had been talking to my buddy. I said yeah. He lights up my crotch again. He tells me to watch it and leaves.

It takes a few moments, but then we get it. He was checking my crotch to see if my fly was open. I thought he was looking for an open bottle, but he wanted to know if my "buddy" was giving me a hand job and making me swerve down the road. The cop was looking to bust some queers. Give some fags a hard time.

Weaving down the road, my ass. sonofabitch

I go to the beverly center and go to the movies. In line to buy a ticket, I witness a loud argument about a refund. The customer is furious, the cashiers are adamant. No refunds. As the line finally shuffles forward, I take a picture of the cashier without asking permission. Her supervisor is called. And then her supervisor is called. I am threatened with arrest. Have I broken a law?

a lawyer friend's unofficial (and free) response:

You bastard!
No, you haven't broken a law that I'm aware of, but you may have violated other personal rights of privacy and publicity. The general rule: A picture may be taken from public property of anything viewable from public property. You weren't on public property. Even if you were on public property, and had the right to take the picture, that doesn't necessarily mean you'd have the right to use the picture (i.e. publish it) w/o violating personal rights. Likewise, if you took a picture of the General Cinemas logo, from public property, you wouldn't necessarily have the right to use the picture of their logo w/o permission, but maybe you could... it depends. Sorry!
(Again, for the record: you bastard!)

big picture | sob

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