"I.."

1/03/02

Happy New Year.
Really.
This may not sound son-of-a-bitchy, but... I don't know. Wait a while.

Just got back from a road trip with Charlotte. Drove to St. Louis for xmas. Left on Saturday morning and got there by Sunday night. 39 hours. I have to start getting more sleep. (Resolution #1) My daughter drives like a pro. I believe she has more cross-country miles than I do. Driving, anyway. And yet... I find it hard to sleep while she's driving.

The day before we left (we'll call it Friday) was a bit hectic. I had envisioned a slowdown before the holidays. Perhaps a chance to re-work my portfolio site. Instead, a lot of last-minute work for my clients. I was going to sign my loan docs for the refinance at one o'clock, go to an office party in the mid-afternoon, and meet an old friend at six. Instead, the loan docs arrived at four. A seven percent solution instead of an anticipated 6.25%. But what the heck. I raced out to the valley for the office party.

You know something? This is just a lot of boring shit. I have new clients coming in the morning. Two more entrepreneurial young women. A site that someone else created and messed up. And now that they're out of money, they want me. Okay. I'm here. So, I should get some sleep. I'm tying to figure out what's bugging me right now, other than the fact that my heater doesn't work. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's the heater.

I'm a little numbed right at the moment. Trying to figure out what's going through my head. Am I happy or sad? I don't know. I had a brief encounter recently with someone who loves me the way I am. But things didn't work out. That love is still there. And it's incredibly fulfilling to feel loved. But things didn't work out. So...

I'm freezing. Good night.

I'm sorry. Was that too abrupt? Sorry.



Here's "Love."